How much time do you waste focusing on things you cannot control? Do you find yourself getting emotional over things which you can do nothing about? If you do, you are not the only one! If you want to let go of control to feel less stressed you are in the right place.

A very British perspective!

Let’s be honest, as a nation, we Brits do like good moan! The weather is a favourite topic but we also love to complain about lots of other things. The traffic, public transport, the politicians and, of course, that man in America. Don’t say his name because if you do it kills a fairy!! Do you also spend time moaning about customer service, your noisy neighbours and the latest sports results?
Moaning is bad enough for our stress levels and energy. Moaning about things you cannot control is even worse. It is not good for you because it makes you feel weak and victimised. While you are moaning about the things you cannot control, you remind yourself that you cannot fix them. This makes you feel like you are weak. Continual moaning also makes you more likely to notice negative things. This makes you feel bad about the state of the world. Feeling negative and bad about the world will definitely make you feel more stressed.
If you can do something about an issue do it, but if it is outside your control, let it go.

If you cannot control it let it go

The list of things above is all outside your circle of control. As is most of other people’s behaviour including that of your other half and your children. When you realise that these things are outside your circle of control, you can feel much more freedom. You can then focus on the inside and how to control better how you feel about these situations and people.

Here are my 6 top tips to let go of control to feel less stressed

Work out where the need to control is coming from.

Often, the need to control things comes from a deep-rooted fear. You might have developed an inability to trust or a fear of the unknown. Knowing where the need to control comes from will help you to let go of it.

Imagine what it will feel like to let go

Think about how quiet your head will be when those thoughts of control are gone. Think about what trusting the outcome will feel like. Will letting go of the control make much difference to the outcome? If not, let it go.

Live in the present

Quite often we try to control outcomes in the future. You might want a particular conversation to have a certain conclusion or want a journey to go a particular way. If you bring yourself back into the present, you can have some control. You can control the thoughts you have, the actions you take and how you feel right now. The future is way outside our circle of control – leave it there and get to it in good time.

Focus on what you do have control over

As stated above, you are in control of you. Your feelings, your thoughts, your actions, your decisions. This actually gives you an awful lot more power than you might think. Be grateful for this power you have and use it. No-one can make you feel anything. That’s where you are in control if you choose to be.

Be flexible

If you are trying hard to control outcomes, people and things in your life you are often disappointed by how things turn out. Being flexible about what a satisfactory outcome is will decrease disappointment in your life. You will then feel less need to control what happens.


During the years since the nervous breakdown I suffered in 2015, I have learnt to trust more. This is because the life I am living now is so much more amazing than I could have imagined whilst I was ill. You have never been sent anything in life that you couldn’t handle so trust that will be the case in the future too. We are all stronger than we think.


Breathing doesn’t just help bring you into the present but it is also a great way to let go. One of my favourite techniques is to breathe in and say ‘let’ in your head. Then breathe out and say ‘go’. Keep doing this until you feel your mind quieten and your body feels calmer.

Let go of control to gain control

The ironic things about letting go of control is that it is one of the keys ways to get back in control of your life and feel less stressed. Take some time to try some of these techniques to find more balance and peace of mind in your life. Changes won’t happen overnight but before long you will notice that you feel more carefree and less stressed.
If you would like help feeling less stressed, please get in touch here.